Things you never thought you would say . . . until you had kids

~ Please don't step on your sister's face

~ Please take the underwear off your head

~ Please pee in the potty and not on my rug

~ No, you cannot take my phone in the bathtub

~ Why are you in a (dog) crate?

~ Why is daddy's toothbrush in a (dog) crate?

~ No, we don't rinse our toothbrush in the potty

~ Please stop spitting bath water in your sister's face

~ Crayons are not snacks

~ If you find it on the ground, do NOT put it in your mouth

~ If you sleep in your bed all night, you can have a Popsicle for breakfast

~ Exactly why are you standing on the table?

That's just from tonight!!!